13 Fears About Sobriety That Will Sabotage Your Recovery

I was comparing myself to the generalised stereotype of an addicted person I would see on Tv. I thought that maybe I wasn’t desperate enough in the eyes of others, and that would mean no one would help me. But I did feel like these reasons were enough for me to classify myself as not addicted enough to do anything about it. Naively, I used to think addicts were the homeless people you saw on the streets living in garden beds under a plastic tarpaulin.

Your problems, feelings, thoughts, and struggles are enough. They are valid and need to be both heard and worked on. I know I said I wouldn’t change a thing, but hopefully, someone can learn from my mistakes. Hopefully, reading this makes someone think, “I’m not comfortable with my behaviour, even if it’s only a slight discomfort, I’m going to talk to someone about it and try to make it better”.

Understanding Nifaliophobia: The Fear of Being Sober

Whatever the feeling was, it had to be wrong, and it was my fault for feeling it. Taking into consideration the power that shaming can have on a person highlights why it is so important to talk about. If someone struggling is internalising all these feelings and emotions it can take a toll on their mental health and may push them to have a drink.

• What people say about you is ultimately just a reflection of themselves.
• You may have thoughts about losing all that is good in your life, losing all friends, being boring, and feeling lost without the use of the substance.
• This is because so much of their identity has been wrapped up in their addiction.
• If you find that the fears you are having begin to interfere with your daily life and happiness, then it might be time to seek out a therapist.
• Foma tells you it will be impossible to “switch off”; that you and your partner will have nothing to talk about.

And worrying about what others may think if you return to use is outside of your control. You focus on you and the people who are supposed https://ecosoberhouse.com/article/why-we-have-a-fear-of-being-sober-5-fears-about-it/ to be in your life will support you along the way. Admitting that you have a problem can be a scary thing to contemplate.

The Fear of Sobriety

I feel like I’m not the only one in the sober community who will say that they didn’t think they were addicted enough to do anything about it. I think that in itself tells us that if you have the slightest concern that you’re starting to spiral, it’s worth doing something about it. On reflection, I can see that I have never had enough healthy coping mechanisms to deal with stress. Apart from a three-month period when I was 23, I’d never not drunk.

Instead of a drunken buddy to commiserate with, I can offer others real support in a crisis. Finch started writing Single Drunk Female in 2012 when she was still drinking. In Season 1, it’s pounding shots and dancing on a bar to Shakira, feeling like a sex goddess despite looking like the opposite. For some, the thought of detoxing, working through rehab, and succeeding at recovery scares them. It’s not surprising that many people are afraid of failure.

Relational fears

I have become my own best friend, diminishing my desperate need to belong with others. With love, I have also had to let go of some friendships. Some people are in our lives for a season, not a lifetime. If you find that the fears you are having begin to interfere with your daily life and happiness, then it might be time to seek out a therapist. A professional might be the right choice for you to begin living a healthy and fulfilling life. You really don’t have enough willpower, but you don’t need it.

Looking back now, I can see that whenever my substance abuse was at its worst, it was in a higher stress period of my life. I think most, but not all, cases of addiction are simply people who haven’t learned or built healthy coping mechanisms and fall victim to a vice to help them cope. When you are newly sober or thinking about quitting drinking, I know the fear of how others will react can feel like a hurdle. My relationships have not only changed, but have improved since I’ve quit drinking. Drinking gave me a one track mind, always seeking more alcohol. Sobriety has made me a better wife, mother, daughter, and friend.

Without change, you won’t be able to achieve sobriety. Being supportive when out with friends or family who are in recovery and staying sober can help a lot. There are small steps you can take to make them feel more comfortable. People often make others feel like they are being boring or that their decision not to drink is wrong.

Even people for whom alcohol is not a problem experience this. Navigating your existing relationships in sobriety is a huge challenge. The good thing is that you don’t have to worry about that in the beginning. Sober movements are redefining what it means to have fun and challenging alcohol’s role in our social lives. After a while, you’ll be enjoying life on entirely different terms.

Unexpected Changes in Your First Year Sober

Sometimes people may not realise that they are ‘sober shaming’, they might think they are just having a joke. However, this can be really upsetting and damaging to some people, especially those people who may have struggled with their relationship with alcohol in the past. You might have heard the term popping up on social media recently but unsure of what it is. This is because it often goes unnoticed and people may not be aware of it.

I’ve made a lot of mistakes and still have a long way to go, but I am most certainly on the right trajectory. I have realised, though, that I am of more value to the people around me when I am also okay. For me to be okay, I need to do things that motivate me intrinsically. I wanted to be better but wanted to look after everyone else first.